There are things that you might do if you are in the thick of a custody battle that could do more harm than good to your case. Children are more affected than adults when a divorce happens. They must be protected as much as is possible under the prevailing circumstances.
As the adult, you are in control of the situation and can ensure that your child transitions into the new situation smoothly. Here are are a few things you should do:
- Punctuality
Whatever comes up when you are due to visit your child should take second place. Your child must always come first. If there is a major issue that cannot be postponed or cancelled, ensure you have given notice in good time, but promise to make it up to them and make sure you do.
- Frequently reassure your child
Let your child know that both you and the other parent will always be there for them and always love them. Let them know that they had nothing to do with the divorce. Listen to them and acknowledge their fears and concerns. Get some advice from family and divorce attorneys like Abogados de Familia Santa Ana and others. Get some books and learn how you can talk to your children about the divorce.
- Maintain a regular routine for the child
The child should not feel as if their life as they know it has to change. As much as possible, allow for their regular routine to continue. If you do not have to relocate, don’t.
- Communication
Stay in touch with your child. It may not be easy, but the child needs to know that they can speak to you or the other parent any time they wish to.
- Discretion
In the event that a new partner enters the picture, you should be careful about how and when you introduce your child to them. Ensure that the relationship is serious before you bring the child into it.
Please avoid the following:
- Badmouth your ex-partner
It does not matter if they are to blame for the divorce or they hurt you in the worst way possible. They are your child’s parent and that will not change. They hurt you; not the children. Do not talk badly about them to your children, however tempted you might be.
- Altercations in front of the children
If you must fight, let it be as far away from the children as possible.
- Ask your child to spy on your ex for you
It should not even concern you who your ex-spouse is seeing. Do not involve your child in such shenanigans. If you have genuine concerns, talk to your attorney about it.
- Bribe your children
You should never need to buy your child’s love. Bribes make it impossible to exert your authority over your child and to discipline them.
To sum up, simply avoid anything that will hurt your child and do everything you can to make sure your child is comfortable. Encouraging a child to take sides in such a situation is detrimental to them. Also, it pays to get advice from experts such as Abogados de Familia Anaheim on what you ought to do.